![]() ![]() Maybe she'll show us pictures of her grandkids!īut wait. Cuteness and oldness were the primary criteria for the Screen Actors Guild this year, so what the hell, let's give her an Oscar, too. Sure, she didn't do much in "American Gangster," but she's cute! And old! We best not pass her by. We hope you can handle it.īest Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role They ask, "Do the Oscars really matter?" But people only ask such questions after their prediction skills prove inept.Ĭhris Bellamy, Jeremy Mathews and Brent Sallay have set aside their petty squabbles, the quietly stewing resentment and the popcorn to give you the longest version yet of The Only Oscars Article Longer Than the Oscars. ![]() Some argue that it's silly to write 20,000 words on the Oscars in these troubling times. We've come a long way since 2007 kicked off with the likes of "Code Name: The Cleaner," "Wild Hogs" and Oscar nominee "Norbit." And now it's everyone's favorite time of year again, when Hollywood joins together to give itself a collective pat on the back, and finally back a single high-def format (the one that's twice as expensive, damn it!). (I urge next year's producers to get Gary Ross to do it again.)Īnother great moment: Jennifer Hudson shows off the skills that won her Best Supporting Actress last year-by not being able to competently read off a TelePrompTer (seriously, that's how my spellcheck intercaps it).Īnd props to the winners for giving good speeches instead of crying like babies and reading us their grocery lists. The "In Memoriam" montage again failed to celebrate the life and works of the diseased, opting instead for a lifeless series of photos. The best part of the evening came when Stewart brought Best Original Song winner Markéta Irglová back on the stage after the assholes in the orchestra played her off. Jon Stewart made the most of what he had, and encapsulated the feelings of all the viewers at home at the end of an inexplicable documentary on the Price-Waterhouse vote tabulation process. Overall, the wounds of the writers strike clearly didn't heal quick enough, and it makes you wonder how terrible the ceremony might have been if the strike were still going on. I was happy for both winners (although I would have liked to see "I'm Not There" win an Oscar.) Well, I was certainly correct when I predicted that I didn't know what the hell was going to happen in the two Actress categories. ![]()
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